This blog is for you if you’ve been weighing up the benefits of in person therapy v’s seeing a therapist online and struggling to make a decision on which type of therapy might be the best fit. Working online isn’t suitable in all cases, but this blog highlights some of the specific advantages working online can offer to lgbtq+ people to help with your decision making.
1.Easier to find a specialist
Working online means that you can find the therapist who is the best for you, rather than the one that’s closest. If you’re working face to face you might be lucky enough to have someone local who specialises in queer-affirming therapy, but this is often not the case. Unfortunately, it’s not a given that therapists will be lgbtq+ affirmative and clients sometimes report experiencing micro-aggressions and mis-understandings from therapists without queer experience or training in queer affirmative therapy (for instance, thinking everything is fine for gay people now, or under-estimating the impact of homophobia or transphobia). Therapy is hard enough without having to worry that your therapist will judge your sexuality or gender expression or that you’ll have to waste time educating them. You might also be looking for someone with particular lived experience or training and working online means you have more options when choosing a therapist.
2. You don’t have to work with a therapist who lives near you
If you want to work with a queer therapist then working online with someone further afield should mean you’re less likely to know the same people. Most lgbtq+ therapists are trained and experienced in issues relating to living and working in the same community and this will be discussed when you start working together, but it’s a small queer world out there and you may still feel more comfortable working with someone who isn’t likely to know your friends. If you find out you have a close personal relationship with someone who is also close to your therapist, it might mean you need to be referred to someone else. Working with someone who lives the other end of the country doesn’t mean this will never happen, but it certainly makes it less likely. Plus, you’re less likely to bump into your therapist in Tesco in your pyjamas, which some people have strong feelings about.
3.Disability and neurodiversity accommodations are easier
This is not a specifically queer one perhaps, but many lgbtq+ folks are living with disabilities and health issues so I’ve included this as a potential benefit here. As a disabled therapist one of the reasons I prefer to work online is that I can unobtrusively set up my therapy space to accommodate my access needs. Doing therapy from your own room means you can set your space up just the way you like it- you can reduce sensory overwhelm from scents, noise and visuals and you can also have grounding objects, fidget toys and other resources close by. You can bring your favourite drink to session (in your favourite cup!) and can be near a toilet if you need a bathroom break. Your pet can also join you in a session for grounding which is fun for everyone.
4. More privacy when attending your appointment
For some people, being seen entering a therapy office or lgbtq+ organisation is no big deal, but others might feel self-conscious that someone might spot them going into therapy. You might not quite feel ready yet to identify as queer so the possibility of being seen entering an lgbtq+ branded space might be anxiety provoking. As long as you’ve got a private space to do online therapy in, then working this way means you don’t have to worry about what building you’ll be seen entering or navigating the potential awkwardness of sitting in a public waiting room.
5. Not having to travel
Not having to travel to your appointment is a bonus of online therapy which is applicable to everyone, but there may be specific reasons why reducing travelling can be a particular benefit for lgbtq+ people attending therapy. For trans folks early in their transition, therapy can be a vital safe space for experimenting with a presentation which better affirms your gender and trying out new hair, make up and clothes. If you’re not ready, or don’t feel safe to travel presenting in this way yet, having sessions in your own home means you don’t have to get changed last minute or get ready in the toilets at your therapist’s office.
If you’re considering working online with a therapist but not sure it’ll be a good fit for you, you can often try a free consultation to see if talking online feels comfortable. If you’d like to book a introductory meeting with me, please get in touch
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